Invader Zim: Rebooted
by DinoFreakUSA
Summary: Invader Zim told my way. Zim is an orphaned Irken boy who dreams of being an Invader. His chance comes at the expense of another Irken. Now on Earth he begins to learn the truth about his leaders and his destiny. Will include Zita, Tak, Gaz, and Dib.
1. The Coo

Many years ago on the planet Irk there was a race of insectoid life forms (in this version there is more than one species on Irk so the term Irken is too vague. For now at least.) . Like insects on Earth they had a monarch government and ranks.

The smaller insectoids had numbers far greater than the taller ranks. They proved to be quite intelligent.

The rightful rulers, known as Royalty, were born from a queen of their species. Unlike other ranks however, Royalty did not have a set appearance. They could be any size or shape. In the event that the heir to the throne was unable to fully lead, the Royalty set up a council consisting of a member of each rank. It was hard wired in the DNA of these insectoids to follow the Royalty. But all that was about to change.

88

One day Queen Miyuki gave birth to a son whom she named Spork. Spork's egg was placed out in public so everyone could admire their future ruler. There was much joy throughout the planet. However two members of the council were not pleased. Members of the Tallest rank Redokan and Purpletos, or just Red and Purple for short, were forming a plan to rid the planet of the Royalty rank making the Tallest the lead rank. Spork complicated said plan. Now they had to assassinate both Spork and Miyuki without it being suspicious. The plan would take many years.

88

After Spork hatched he was placed under Red's apprenticeship. Red worked for the science division and Miyuki had ordered them to build The Massive. The Massive could hold nearly the entire insectoid race. It was meant to be a research vessel in which generations of the insectoids could dedicate their lives to researching the universe and meeting other species. Miyuki didn't know that she was playing right into the Tallests' plan.

88

The Massive was nearly complete when Miyuki was about to announce something she claimed would change their world. With some "advice" from Purple she invited every member of the council to the event. Meanwhile, Red was teaching Spork a lesson in bio-engineering. He and his scientists were working on enhancing a member of an endangered species of a slime-like animal. The animal was valuable to Irk's forest and a necessary part of the environment. It reproduced by splitting its cells and eventually separating into two new individuals. The idea, at least what Red claimed, was to create a serum to rapidly multiply is cells thus making it reproduce faster. Red gave Spork the serum. Spork was just to put a small amount in. As he began to pour Red pretended to place his hand on Spork's shoulder as a congratulations. In reality he was placing a small machine that hacked into Spork's nerves making him drop the full amount of serum on the animal.

The animal grew and mutated unable to separate. It became a giant monster and escaped its enclosure. Red quickly deactivated all but one escape pod in the lab. He gave mocking wave goodbye as the monster attacked the scientists and killed Spork.

Purple was to get Spork when he did not show up during the announcement. Purple was able to disable the security systems along the way to the lab. Eventually he opened the lab's doors and the monster ran out, hungry. Purple hid behind a beam while the monster attacked and devoured the Council. Red's escape pod landed during the attack. He activated the distress signal on the pod and met up with Purple to pretend that they were just innocent victims.

Miyuki saw this and dragged her wounded body towards them.

"How can you two do this?" she asked weakly. "Why did you two fools do this?"

Red smiled and picked her up by the antennae, one of the most painful and humiliating spots to be grabbed by for the female insectoid.

"That's no way to talk to the Almighty Tallest." Red laughed. His laugh was joined by Purple as he tossed Miyuki into the monster. It wasn't the monster that killed her. Purple tossed in a small bomb. He would later say that is how he defeated the monster but unfortunately he could not save Miyuki.

88

When the emergency crew landed they found what appeared to be Red and Purple battered, bruised, and unconscious on the ground surrounded by goo and insectoid remains. They were "rescued" and they immediately made a public announcement.

"My fellow Irkens, it is with heavy spiddle splats(hearts?) that we announce the death of Queen Miyuki and Prince Spork." said Red with a fake somber face.

"Sadly this is the end of the Royalty rank." announced Purple bowing his head.

"They will be missed but do not worry. As the last surviving members of the Council we shall take control." said Red.

"We know we cannot replace Royalty…" said Purple.

"…But I know we can do a just as good if not better job as your leaders." stated Red.

Then a Brute rank Irken appeared on screen.

"All hail The Almighty Tallest!" he yelled waving his spear in the air. The two were happy to hear the crowds chanting the words Almighty Tallest outside of their building. They were now rulers of Irk.

88

The let themselves into the late Queen's chambers and began to "redecorate" it by smashing unwanted items to pieces including the Royalty staff. Then Red noticed something in the Queen's chambers. It was an egg. The announcement she never got to make was that she had another egg and therefore another heir.

Red raised it up in order to smash it. Even he does not know why he looked up. He saw through the green membrane of the egg. There was a little baby inside it. It was so innocent. So helpless. Red felt something. Was it guilt? No. But he couldn't destroy this egg for some reason. Just then the small being inside it moved and opened it's eyes. It say through the shell and looked right at Red before closing its eyes again.

Now Red was stuck with this egg that he could not kill. He hid it from Purple who was enjoying the Queen's snack pile. He left the room and scurried through the alleyways of the Irken city. Eventually he found a small fast food restaurant called Food Courtia. He placed the egg at the steps and ran.

88

Irk slowly began to fall under the Tallest rule. The Tallest ordered many machines to be invented. They claimed that they were just trying to make their citizens happy with all the technology but it was actually to make them dependent on the machines and whoever controlled them. When some of the older insectoids began to suspect something the Tallest ordered all of the unhatched eggs to go through a new procedure they called the PAK project. Each new Irken was equipped with a machine called a PAK permanently attached to them. It gave them enhanced abilities, acted as a computer, gave them advanced mobility with arthropod legs, and acted as a storage pack. Their real purpose however was to block the genes in the common insectoids DNA that makes them obey Royalty and lower their intelligence thus making them little more than drones. The Massive was changed into a military vessel. Under the Tallest rule all of Irk's resources were wiped out making Irk uninhabitable. All the species except for the insectoids became extinct. Being the only species on Irk, the insectoids earned the name Irkens.

Unable to live on Irk, the Irkens set out for the stars. The Tallest ordered a few select Irkens to find a new planet to call home. The dubbed this mission Operation Impending Doom. The Invaders split up and much to everyone's surprise each of them conquered a planet by themselves. This gave Red and Purple an idea. Why settle for the Irkens when it is so easy to conquer other planets? Their new goal was to rule the universe.

Soon they set out a call to the most elite of Irkens to sign on for Operation Impending Doom II and a small orphaned Irken boy answered.

IRKEN FUN FACT: Irken antenaes have a large variety of functions from communicating, to attracting, and expression. Without antenae an Irken cannot hear or smell.

The male antenae are straight with a bend in the middle while the female's are curved at the end. The female antenae are far more sensitive than the males especially mother Irkens whose sensces are hightened to protect their children. Irkens do not kiss as they do not view pressing lips against each ther as affectionate. Instead the curl their antenae's up.

If one touches a female Irken's antenae it is considered very offenscive. It is basically the equivalant of touching a human female's rear end.


	2. My Name is Zim Escape from Food Courtia

A short and fat Irken crawled out of the window on his PAK legs covering his face.

"AND STAY OUT!" hissed a female Irken tossing several household chemicals at the unfortunate male.

"I swear to the Tallest I wasn't looking at her antennae!" yelled the male.

"Yeah right!" growled the angered female. "Get out of here Skoodge!"

Skoodge grumbled to himself ad wiped the chemicals off of his uniform.

"Greta!" he mumbled. "A stain." He sighed and began walking towards his favorite place and virtually his home, Food Courtia.

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It was a slow day at Food Courtia. Barely anyone was there. One might take this as a bad sign but the employees knew it meant that "The Great Lunch Rush" was about to happen.

One Irken stood behind the counter leaning against it. He peered at a screen with his red eyes and antennae buzzing with excitement. It was an advertisement for something the young Irken longed for.

"Attention all Irkens!" yelled a loud voice on the screen. "Tonight don't forget to go to The Massive's mighty Convention Hall to witness the most elite of each rank's military sign on to the greatest mission of all… being Invaders!

There will be action!

There will be music!

There will be a fantastic show.

You'll get a chance to meet the Mighty Invader Tenn and… the… Almighty Tallest! So come on down. You'll even get a chance to sign up for the military so even you can get a chance to become an Invader!

_The employees of Conventia are not responsible for an injuries, fights, or death during the event._"

"ZIM!" growled a large overweight Irken from the kitchen. "Quit fooling around and get working!" he growled.

"Call me a fool now Sizzlor." said Zim clenching his fist. "For soon I will be an Invader and you will call my the Mighty Zim!"

"You'll never be an Invader, Zim." laughed Sizzlor/ "For one thing you are just too small. Your even smaller than the Scraper rank. Even your parents must of thought you were pathetic. Why do you think they dumped your egg here?"

Zim had nothing to say. He clenched his fist harder and tossed his rag at Sizzlor.

"I could have left you out there you know!" growled Sizzlor. "Your lucky I didn't just cook you up!"

"Maybe you should have because that would have been better than living in this dump THAT HAS CRETBLINGS IN THE KITCHEN!" Zim yelled so everyone can here.

Everyone in the restaurant stopped eating and stared.

Sizzlor quickly slid to the microphone.

"Sorry people. Just a disgruntled employee telling lies. Enjoy your meals. I assure you that they are cretbling free."

Sizzlor growled and grabbed Zim by the throat. He squeezed hard until he noticed Skoodge walking in. Skoodge was on his best customers. Zim was Skoodge's favorite waiter and best friend. Sizzlor dropped Zim and handed him a pencil, pad, and paper.

"Take Skoodge's order then as punishment you are going to cook it with your bare hands again!" ordered the fat alien.

Zim scowled but took the paper and walked to his friend.

"Hey Skoodge." sighed Zim.

"Hey Zim. Get me a Dron." sighed Skoodge.

Zim made a little smile. He wouldn't have to burn his hands after all. Dron was a strong drink similar to Earth beer. Then Zim began to question why Skoodge needed it.

"What's the matter?" asked Zim. "I thought today was the big day. You get to be an Invader."

"Yeah but Grin broke up with me." sighed Skoodge picking up his drink.

"Again? What for this time?"

"Mighty Invader Tenn was on screen and she thought I was looking at her. Well who couldn't? She's just so freakin…"

"I get it." Zim interrupted. "Well at least you have somewhere to go. What planet were you assigned to again?"

"Blorch. Home of the Slaughter Rat People." said Skoodge. Suddenly the fat Irken seemed to peer over Zim's shoulder. Someone had just entered the restaurant.

"Holy Spork! Its her!" he cheered.

Zim looked behind him. It was a tall female Irken with dark purple eyes. He might have found her attractive but there was something about her presence that almost frightened him. He was intrigued.

"Don't even try buddy." laughed Skoodge. "I don't know her name but she's the daughter of Purple. You don't have a chance."

Zim just ignored Skoodge and slid to the girl's table.

"Hello I am.." he was interrupted by the girl.

"I don't care who you are food service drone!" She hissed. "I am about to embark on the longest and greatest Invasion since Tenn conquered Vort and require nourishment. As a food service drone it is your purpose to tend to my demands. I am after all a member of the Tallest rank. You don't look big enough to be a Scraper. Now I want a sandwich and make it snappy!"

Zim growled and leaned himself towards her. Not being intimidated the female did the same and soon enough they were touching foreheads and snarling.

"My name is Zim!" he growled.

"You are a food service drone and that is all that matters." she said angrily back.

"ZIM! Quit harassing the customers and scrape the grill!" yelled Sizzlor.

Something snapped in Zim. Something inside him that made him obey.

"NO!" he shouted right at the female's face.

"I am the Mighty Zim! I am not a food service drone! I am destined to be the greatest Invader ever! I QUIT!" he shouted so everyone could here.

Everyone in the restaurant stared and Skoodge suddenly gulped his drink in shock.

"You can't quit Zim." growled Sizzlor. "You don't have it in you."

"Watch me!" he yelled. Suddenly he grabbed the female and tossed her at Sizzlor.

She smacked against Sizzlor face causing the massive Irken to fall against the burning grease. He screamed in pain as the grease burned his facial skin.

"You'll pay for that drone!" yelled the female picking herself up. She activated her PAK and used her spider legs to chase after Zim who had done the same.

Sizzlor, who didn't have a PAK, waddled into the parking lot. He gasped for air and shoved a guest off his motorcycle-like hovercraft.

88

The female was in close pursuit of Zim. He jumped from building to building and the female easily followed.

"You can't possibly think you can out maneuvered an Irken Elite!" she yelled.

She was crafty. No matter what Zim did she was right behind him. He just continued to jump through the twist of pipes and wires of the city. He did not know that he was traveling in a circle. Suddenly he noticed an open Voot Cruiser in the parking lot. He landed on the street and made a break for it.

Sizzlor spotted Zim on the street and sped up. Now Zim had two really angry "superiors" behind him. The Voot Cruiser was his only chance.

He was almost to the Cruiser when he felt the bumper of the cycle graze his mechanical leg. "I'm gonna rip your limbs off then fry them up!" snarled Zim's former boss.

"No!" yelled Zim. "Your going to help me!"

He quickly used his rear spider legs to shove the large Irken off the cycle. Sizzlor was tossed backwards as the cycle zoomed forward from under him. Zim deactivated his mechanical legs and hopped on. Meanwhile Sizzlor bounced across the street and right into the female.

"Get off me you disgusting being!" the female growled to the knocked out Sizzlor who was pinning her down with his massive weight.

All the female could do was watch as Zim climbed into a Voot Cruiser. Her Voot Cruiser! She needed that to go to the Great Assigning!

"Don't do it drone!" she screamed.

Zim pretended not to listen as he closed the hatch.

"Drone!" she ordered.

Again Zim didn't pay attention and began to fly off.

"ZIM!" the female yelled in blind fury. "I swear I will make you pay for this if it takes till my last breath!"

Meanwhile Skoodge snuck to his ship hoping not be noticed by the enraged female.

Zim was finally happy. "From now on I am Invader Zim!" he cheered driving the Cruiser to Conventia.

IRKEN FUN FACT: The term Mighty is given to an Invader that the tallest believe to be the greatest. Below Mighty is Great and below Great is Decent and so on. The lowest Invader level is Defective.

When any Irken is labeled Defective they are shunned from society. No one can rise from being a Defective even if they prove themselves to be confident and successful. This is all part of the Tallest propaganda.


	3. You are an Invader and Meet Gir

A huge crowd could be seen outside Conventia. Screens floated above the crowd shouting advertisements. Inside was a gigantic stage surrounded by now full seats. In the back of the stage stood the elite soldiers eagerly awaiting their assignments.

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Meanwhile Zim was still getting used to piloting the Cruiser. He had operated one before but that was an older model used for delivery. He found himself bumping into many of the other cruisers in the heavy traffic.

"Out of my way!" Zim yelled. "I have a planet to invade!"

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The audience went silent as the lights dimmed. A single light lit the center of the stage. Suddenly someone fell from the ceiling and loud music started playing. As soon as she landed smoke emitted from the back of the stage. Then she looked up as two waves of show lasers beamed on the side of the stage. The audience cheered as she began to speak

"Everyone put your hands and antennae together for your all knowing, all powerful leaders.. The ALMIIIGHTYYY TALLEEEST!"

There was a mass of cheering and screams of excitement as part of the ceiling began to descend. Red and Purple stood waving on top of the descending platform.

"See, told you they'd like lasers." whispered Red to Purple.

"Nu-uh." grumped Purple. It's the smoke machines that AHH" a beam of laser bounced right into Purple's eye. He held his eye in pain as Red continued to wave giving a devious smile.

When they landed the crowd began to shift amongst themselves. A smaller Irken was suddenly lifted up and tossed around like a beach ball. Suddenly he landed on the stage right in front of Red. The little guy was barely out of smeethood(childhood). He looked up nervously at Red who looked down with a calm smile. He gently lifted the child up. The young one gave a smile but Red's expression suddenly changed to anger. He gripped the smeet's throat and tossed him back into the audience.

"Now that that's over with.., Thank you Invader Tenn." said Red trying to queue Purple.

"Eh-hem. Behind us are the not as superior as us but still pretty superior soldiers." said Purple.

"The rest of you should have tried harder. As if you could." Red laughed. "Your mission is to conquer a specific planet."

"There you will access the weaknesses and/or usefulness of said planet while seamlessly blending in with the native inhabitants." said Purple.

"Once you've gathered enough information you will contact us and we will travel to the planet and prepare it for our inhabitation with our big spaceship group."

"You mean Armada right?"

"Shut up."

"Will Invader Skoodge please step forward."

Skoodge jumped in excitement as he scurried to the center of the stage.

The Tallest looked down at him with a questionable expression.

"You seem shorter since the last time we saw you." said Purple.

"What happened to you? What's with that stain on our uniform?" asked Red.

"Uh, girl trouble." said Skoodge nervously.

The two leaders thought for a moment.

"We were going to send you to Blorch but since you don't look competent enough to do that we are sending you to Thundra, home of the violent cat people." said Purple.

Skoodge just stood there as a tear of fear rolled down his face.

"Alrighty." said Red as he kicked Skoodge away. "Who's next?"

88

Zim had made it to Conventia. Now all he had to do was land. He looked around for the landing gear buttons. Uh oh. This newer model hovered down. Zim didn't know how to land by hovering.

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"Okay that's the last of them." said Purple stretching. "Now everyone please meet us in about thirty minutes to receive your S.I.R. Units and-"

All of the sudden something came smashing through the walls of Conventia. A Voot Cruiser had crashed into the building. The crowd screamed and ran for it as the Cruiser hit the ground. It skidded across the ground until it hit the stage.

"What on Irk?" asked Red looking t the crashed vehicle.

The hatch opened and the Tallest saw a small Irken crawl out. A very small Irken.

"My… my… my Tallest." Zim gasped with his head down.

"GUARDS!" yelled Purple.

"Wait!" pleaded Zim. "Please my Tallest, I have done much to get here. I disobeyed my master, fought someone, and acquired this Voot Cruiser. All I ask is that I have a chance to be an Invader." Then he gazed up with a desperate look on his face.

Red looked at Zim and suddenly realized something. "Uh cancel the guards." he ordered. Then he grabbed Purple. "Give us a minute." he told Zim.

Purple leaned in to hear Red's whispers.

"It's him." Red said silently.

"No, it can't be." whispered Purple in surprise. "Are you sure?"

"I'd recognize that face anywhere. He's the last remaining Royalty."

"I'll just have the guards grab him."

"No, this isn't grounds for execution. They might suspect something."

"Then we'll just imprison him forever."

"He'll just escape."

"Then what do we do?"

"I have an idea. Watch this."

Red turned around from the conversation and faced Zim. "After much consideration, we have decided to grant you the title of Invader."

Zim squealed in joy at this. "Oh thank you My Tallest, you will not regret this." Suddenly he stopped. "But I have no training, no experience."

"No need. Based on what you've told me, uh Zim was it?, you are more than capable to do this." Red asserted picking Zim up. "Now go stand next to your fellow Invaders." Zim gladly obeyed.

"You will be assigned to a recently discovered planet. It shouldn't be too hard to take over. Its not like its covered in a dangerous chemical(water) or anything." said Red.

Purple slid next to Red.

"What are you doing?" he whispered angrily.

"Giving the little pest a suicide mission." Red answered.

"I thought we were giving that to Tak?" Purple hissed. "How am I supposed to get rid of her now? I can't have a hybrid soon-to-be defective messing up our rule."

"Well you shouldn't have slept with that drone." Red laughed. "We'll get rid of her, just you wait."

88

Later the Invaders were moved to a large munitions building. The Tallest stood in front in front of two large tubes with metal devices inside them. Purple pushed a button and one the devices fell out. Suddenly the top part of the device shot up and two optics were opened. The rest of it shifted into a humanoid shape. Zim gazed in amazement at the small focused robot with red eyes.

"This is your Standard Information Retrieval or S.I.R Unit." Purple announced.

"They will aid and protect you during your mission." Red said. "But their main purpose is to gather information to help you blend in."

Purple picked up the S.I.R Unit and opened up it's head. "It also works as a storage device with infi-space technology."

"Now everyone get up here and pick a robot."

Zim quickly stepped forward. "Yes! I'll have a robot of my own!" he said excitedly.

The Tallest looked at each other.

"Uh, considering your experience Zim we have a much more uh… advanced model for you." said Purple.

"Oh, how much more advanced?" asked Zim.

"So advanced it hasn't even been tested yet." said Red. "I'll go get it."

Red quickly scooted off the stage and out the side door. The munitions room was right next to the Unit pick up station but Red wasn't going there. He was heading to the dumpster. He picked up a busted S.I.R Unit. It was missing a processor chip. After a bit of digging he found a chip with a scratch on it and covered in garbage. Oh well. He inserted the chip into the robot and quickly ran back to the stage.

"Here it is." said Red proudly.

The robot activated and dropped to the floor. It's blue optics glow but it didn't move.

Zim kneeled down to investigate when its optics suddenly focused on his face.

"Masteh?" it asked in a high squeaky voice. Zim opened his mouth to issue a command when the small robot jumped up and squeezed his face in a hug much to Zim's agony.

"Uh, that's an advanced attacking strategy." Purple said.

"How do I get it off?" asked Zim attempting to pry the robot off his face. The Tallest shrugged.

"As your master I command you to let go!" yelled Zim. The small robot's optics turned red.

"Yes sir" it stated before jumping off. Its eyes went back to blue and it started laughing. "Hello, my name is Gir." it chuckled.

"G.I.R? what does the G stand for?" asked Zim.

"I don't know." Gir blandly stated.

"Um, it stands for Grand Information Retrieval Unit." Purple quickly said. Suddenly Gir randomly laughed and ran around Zim excitedly.

"Is it supposed to be stupid?" asked Zim.

"That's just its advanced behavior." assured Purple.

Zim made a bow. "I am honored to be entrusted with such advanced technology my Tallest. Gir, warm up my ship we leave immediately!"

"Ooooookay!" squealed Gir before running with his hands behind his back.

"Good luck Invader Zim." said Red trying to hold back a laugh.

"Tak is going to be so mad when she figures out Zim has her ship." chuckled Purple.

Red looked on as Zim watched Gir in confusion as he banged his face against the ship.

"This is gonna be good." Red laughed.

IRKEN FUN FACT: S.I.R. Units are actually reversed engineered alien technology. One of the Invaders from Operation Impending Doom I landed on a dead mechanical planet. Apparently the natives became locked in a violent war that destroyed their planet. The Invader brought back a body of one of the smaller robotic natives and the scientists used it to create the modern S.I.R. Unit.

Their metal is really flexible.

Infi-space technology is where one can hold a vast amount of items in a pocket dimension.


	4. It Wasn't My Fault!

The Tallest stood on a balcony as the ships lined up on the runway. The runway had an upside down V shape and at the tip was Tenn's ship.

"Good luck invading Meekrob." Purple cheered.

Tenn made a quick bow then jumped off the balcony into her ship. When her hatched closed all of the latches grounding the ships were released.

"The universe will soon belong to us!" cheered Red. "Invaders, launch!"

At that the ships simultaneously took off. All of them went in a perfect V formation except for one.

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Inside Zim's Cruiser Zim desperately tried to figure out the controls.

"Gir, help me out here!" Zim pleaded.

"Okey Dokey!" Gir smiled. Then he grabbed the steering mechanism.

"Gir what are you doing?" screamed Zim.

"I'M HELPING!" the small robot laughed.

The ship moved sporadically and smacked into Skoodge's ship.

"Watch it!" Skoodge growled through the com.

"Give me the wheel!" Zim growled.

Gir's eyes turned red and he stood up. "Yes master." Then his eyes turned back to blue and he made a giggle.

88

Meanwhile the Tallest went into their throne room. Each held a glass of huth(similar to Earth wine) and toasted each other.

"To my, I mean our rule." said Red.

"To the Tallest and the end of the Royalty!" Purple cheered.

"Father!" a voice cried from the entrance.

Purple coughed on the huth in surprise. "Tak!"

"Am I too late for the Great Assigning?" asked Tak with very little hope in her voice.

"Yes. Yes you did." said Purple. "So now I'm afraid I need to punish you."

"But it wasn't my fault!" she pleaded. "It was a drone that stole my ship!"

"That's no excuse." said Red. "You missed your chance and until Operation Impending Doom II is over with you must be re-assigned."

"It wasn't my fault!" Tak cried.

"It is your fault if we believe it to be so!" Purple hissed raising his hand. He then swiped it over Tak's face. Tak covered her face in the pain. When she uncovered it she now had two scratches on her eye from Purple's claws. "That is so you know never to talk back. You got it?"

Tak nodded. She did not cry. Crying was a sign of weakness.

Red gave a little smile at her pain. "Until Operation Impending Doom II is over you will be reassigned as hmmm, a janitorial unit."

"But why can't I go back to the military?" asked Tak.

Red snarled and grabbed her antennae, lifting her up and causing her much pain. "Remember when we mentioned not to talk back?" he hissed. "You will do as we say. If anyone asks you will just say you wanted to see what a drone's work was like so you could better rule. Is that clear?"

Tak managed to give a weak nod despite the horrible pain.

"Good for you." Red smiled.

"And don't worry about your mission." said Purple. "We gave it to another Irken called, uh, I think his name was Zod or something."

"His name was Zim." Red sighed at Purple.

At the mention of Zim's name Tak ignored the pain and humiliation. It was all replaced with anger. "Zim." she growled to herself.

"Well, you better be heading to upgrade you PAK." Red smiled before tossing her towards the door.

"Zim will pay. He will pay dearly." Tak hissed to herself as she walked out.

88

The V formation had separated leaving Zim where alone.

"Alright Gir, I have the coordinates typed in are you ready to flash jump?" Zim asked.

"I like flashy things!" Gir chuckled.

"Maybe when we get there I'll downgrade you a bit so I know how to control you." Zim sighed.

"Can I blow up?" Gir cheered.

Zim only responded with a raised eyebrow. "I'm just going to activate the flash jump now." At that he pressed a button. The Outside of the ship appeared to warp and forma tunnel.

"Only a few more minutes until we reach the soon to be doomed planet." said Zim. "MWAHAHAHAHA! How do you like my maniacal laugh? I've been preparing it for years now. When I take over the planet they will fear the laugh!"

Gir just smiled. "I'm gonna sing the Doom song now!" he laughed.

88

Onboard a large Vortian Battle Cruiser a battle was taking place.

"You will never beat Lard Naar!" yelled a small thick horned alien.

"You are a fool if you think you have a chance against me alien filth!" spat a much taller alien.

Lard Naar grimaced and charged at the other alien with his knife. The taller alien stepped aside and grabbed Lard Naar's hand He bent it painfully causing Lard Naar to kneel down.

"The Resisty was made to destroy the Irkens!" Lard Naar yelled. "Not replace it!"

"Who said I was going to let you rule with me?" hissed the taller alien. "I need your ship and forces to take back what is mine!" The taller alien tossed Lard Naar into the crowd.

"Listen up you miserable excuses for species!" the taller one announced. "From now on I am in charge and I, Spork, will take back what was stolen from me!"

A triangular alien nervously shined a spotlight on Spork to have everyone focus on him.

Spork was but a shadow of his former self. He had a large hump on the right side of his back and his right arm was massive and muscular with an impressive set of claws. His left eye was swollen and a different color than his normal right eye. His feet each had a massive killer claw (like a Velociraptor's). His teeth had sharpened and his tongue couldn't help but dangle out of his mouth. "It will soon be the end for the reign of the Tallest and Spork's reign will begin! The universe will soon belong to Irk!"

88

Tak gazed at herself in the mirror of the janitorial supply room. The scratches on her eye were sure to become scars. Why did she disobey them? Why had fate decided to ruin her? Wait a minute. It wasn't fate. It was Zim. Zim stole her cruiser. Zim took her mission. She'll show the Tallest that she was superior. She'll show her father she is worth something!

She growled and snapped her mop in half then ran into the dump. She needed parts and plenty of them.

IRKEN FUN FACT: The Irken's skin is very sensitive to different chemicals and it has different reactions to them. On Irk they could absorb moisture and air through their skin. It's complex and delicate chemical structure helped it identify what chemicals were entering the body. When it detects something not wanted it will hold said chemical from entering the body temporarily. Some chemicals however will quickly corrupt the skin's chemical balance giving varying results, mostly acidic.

In Spork's case the chemical used to grow the slime monster got into his skin. His skin did not know what to do with the chemical. Some skin cells allowed the chemical inside which corrupted his body and mind while the others ejected the chemical causing swelling.


	5. A Real Alien

"Stealth Mode engaged." said a female computer voice.

"Hey that sounds like that elite girl." said Zim in surprise. "Wow she has a nice voice uh I mean, Gir begin scanning! Search for any means of learning their language and determine our best choice of action."

"Yes sir." said Gir eyes red again. At that moment Gir began scanning on all frequencies. He heard cell phone conversations, satellite signals, and the internet.

"Master I have located a vast amount of information relatively unprotected." Gir stated.

"Excellent download it all." Zim said gleefully.

Gir obeyed and connected to the ship. Then the ship's computer sparked.

"What is this filth?" yelled the voice. "There's too much information. Warning: some files corrupt… Enjoy your free… Your computer has five thous… Please donate… hey honey I'm hor… OVERLOAD! OVERLOAD! EXTREME SYSTEM CORRUPTION!"

"Gir stop downloading!" Zim pleaded.

Zim didn't notice Gir's eyes had turned back to blue.

"I see tacos!" he laughed.

"What on Irk are tacos?" Zim screamed. He desperately pressed all of the buttons on the ships dashboard hoping something would happen. The ship didn't respond.

"WE'RE GOING TO CRASH!" Zim screamed.

"YIPEE!" Gir screeched.

88

Meanwhile, a young human ran out of his room. "Dad! You won't believe this!" he cheered.

"I'm sure I won't son." sighed an older human.

"I finally got something!" the child gasped. "Something on my telescope."

"It's not your telescope Dib." the man said. "It belongs to Membrane Inc. We abandoned them years ago because they were getting too expensive and I don't appreciate you hacking into them."

"Sorry dad but look!" Dib said holding up a picture. On the photo there was a large black spot blocking the stars. He flipped to another picture. A bit of light bounced off the object showing what appeared to be a metallic surface.

"Its just a satellite son." Membrane sighed.

Dib moaned in anger at his father's disbelief. Just then his twin sister walked into his doorway. He didn't even try to convince her. She simply stared at the screen holding a soda can.

"It's nothing Dib." she moaned.

"But its obviously metallic and of alien origin." Dib pleaded. "And its getting closer!"

"That's just orbital decay." Membrane said. "We'll pick it up when it falls."

Dib wanted to pull his hair out. This was obviously a UFO but no one saw it.

"Gaz, we need to go to the Devil's Woods and find that thing when it crashes." Dib pleaded.

"Your crazy." Gaz snarled. "Oh and by the way.." She suddenly delivered a punch straight to Dib's stomach. "That's for eating the last burrito."

88

Zim awoke in a jumbled mess of wires and vehicle liquids.

"HA! The ship held together! Irken technology can handle anything this planet can dish out!" Then he noticed Gir. Gir was engaged in sporadic movements while mumbling some sort of movement.

"Gir!" Zim yelled. "What are you doing?"

"I'm shakin mah bootay!" Gir laughed. Zim smacked himself in the face. He pressed a button on the ship's control panel hoping t make it work. The computer turned on.

"File corruption eliminated Zim." the computer said.

"Hey, your voice is different." Zim said with disappointment.

"Well you see my former voice was part of a program installed by my former captain." Computer said. "But with all of those corrupted files downloaded into me by your S.I.R. unit I had to reboot myself back to my default programming."

"Enough!" Zim yelled. "I require the information that you have managed to keep!"

"I didn't say I kept any information." said Computer.

"But you do have information right?" asked Zim.

"Well, uh, yeah but Zim, there is some messed up stuff here."

"I don't care! Give it to me!" Zim commanded.

"Okay?" Computer said with uncertainty. Then a large wire shot from the control panel. It entered into Zim's skull.

Zim's mind streamed through images and noises. "THIS IS HORRIBLE! WHY OH WHY DID YOU MAKE ME DO THIS?" Zim screamed.

Computer let out a sigh. "Download complete."

"I don't feel any different." Zim said feeling his guts.

"It'll take a few minutes for everything to come to mind." Computer assured.

"Ah, look what I found!" Gir screamed. He leaned into the pushes and pulled out something. The being was about Zim's size with hideous skin and strange eyes not to mention a massive head.

88

Dib struggled to break free from the robots grip. He went into Devil's Woods alone to investigate the crash. Now he was trapped. The small green alien in front of him suddenly sprouted arthropod legs from its back.

"Gir! Notv hea dupo knih(This is what Irken sounds like to us.)!" The alien shouted.

"I think it's a squirrel!" The robot smiled.

"Holy crap!" Dib yelled. "It can speak English!"

The green alien appeared to be thinking. "Ef heg notv. Hyety curk aliber?"

"Heg oj trenh." the ship said.

The small green alien cleared its throat and peered directly at Dib. "Hi heeeyouman worm-baby. You sure are lucky for I am not going to kill you."

"Now you can speak English!" Dib screamed. "This is great! I'm the first human ever to have a conversation with an alien being! I have so many questions."

"As do I." said the alien. Dib opened his mouth to speak when the alien covered his mouth. "I have a vast amount of information on your planet but something keeps coming up. My computer insist that I should attend something called Scheeool. What is that?"

"You mean school?" asked Dib. "It's a place where my kind goes to learn."

"Learn did you say?" asked the alien.

"Yeah." said Dib. " Now I have a question for you. Why are you here?"

Then the alien started to laugh. "MUWAHAHAHAHA! I am here to take over your planet and prove to the almighty Tallest that I can be an Invader!"

Dib was silent.

"Did you have to tell him all of that?" yelled Computer.

"SILENCE!" the alien shouted. "Zim can say whatever he wants to say because he is Zim!"

Dib was frozen in shock.

"Gir, wipe this pathetic heeyouman's memory while I figure out where to establish our base."

"I like wiping!" Gir smiled. When Zim turned his back Gir lowered Dib upside sown and gave a smile. "You have a big head!" Then he ejected a cloth from his infi-space storage head and wiped Dib's face. "Now your wiped!" Gir laughed.

"Let me go!" Dib growled.

"Aw… I wanted to play." Gir whined. "Lets play catch! I'll throw you then you catch it!"

"What! What are you.. AHHHH!" Dib was tossed away over the trees and into the city. He screamed as gravity did it's work. Luckily he landed in a pool of water. After the impact he opened his eyes."Oh crap." he bubbled. He was staring at Zita, a classmate and his crush. She was frightened at his sudden appearance and started kicking him in the face underwater.

Dib tried to block the kicks and swam to the surface of the pool. Zita followed.

"What on Earth are you doing here pervert?" Zita yelled.

"Oh no, no, no, no, you see I was tossed here." Dib said nervously trying to back away from Zita.

"Tossed here by what?" Zit growled.

"You won't believe this but by an actual alien!" Dib said.

Zita stared at him with a pitiful expression before getting out of the pool.

"Your crazy Dib!" then she noticed Dib looking at her in a certain way that made her quickly grab her drying towel.

"Oh, sorry." Dib pleaded.

"Get out before I call the cops!" Zita yelled.

"You don't understand!" Dib said. "There's an alien here on Earth and he wants to invade us!" Zita picked up her cell phone and dialed in 9-1-1. "You have one last chance before I press Call." she yelled.

Din wasted no time and quickly got out of the pool and climbed over her fence.

"Freak." she said before diving back in.

IRKEN FUN FACT: Each Voot Cruiser comes equipped with an onboard computer. Said computer is able to held large amounts of information. Their apprent sentience is a result of their high artificial intelligence. Normally an Invader will imprint their own personalities into the computer so the computer can better work with them.

Tak installed her personality into the Voot cruiser Zim was given making it effcient. However after it needed to reboot Tak's personality was deleted. Now Computer has developed its own personality.


	6. Becoming the Enemy

(WARNING: GORE AHEAD)

"WHERE IS SHE!" Purple yelled shoving through some smaller Irkens. Eventually he made his may up to Hunt, manager of janitorial drones. He grabbed Hunt's uniform and picked him up.

"I'm sorry sir." Hunt stuttered in fear. "She was put in charge of scrap and…"

"You put her in charge of scrap?" Purple hissed. "You IDIOT! She knows too much about Irken technology. She could build a ship out of a vacuum! She's too smart. Just like her mother."

"Sir?" Hunt asked.

"I shouldn't have toyed with that drone for so long. I started to believe my own bluff. If only I wasn't seen holding that egg. I could have smashed it. Then Tak would have been nothing but a malformed mess on the floor." Purpled growled.

"Sir your talking to your.. Wait, Tak is a hybrid?" asked a surprised Hunt.

"Why yes she is." Purple snickered. "I'm sure you'd love to tell everybody but I'm afraid you slipped on that hover fluid and fell to your doom."

"What?"

Purple tapped a bottle of hover fluid over. As the contents spilled out he placed Hunt in it still holding on to his uniform.

"Look out Hunt!" Purple laughed as he shoved Hunt backwards through the windows.

Hunt screamed as he fell nearly thirty stories. He landed on a Ground Cruiser and bounced onto the road as his torso split revealing his innards.

Purple activated his com. "Red we have a problem."

"Is it about that snitch? Luckily for us he "committed suicide"." replied Red.

"No, congrats though. It's about Tak. She's gone." Purple growled.

"You mean dead gone or missing gone?"

"Missing gone."

"Drat!"

"If I know Tak she's probably off to a planet to conquer it."

"And it'll most likely be that planet we gave to Zim."

"And she'll most likely succeed."

"At least we got rid of Zim. That ship was programmed to self destruct upon landing."

"But if she successfully conquers the planet the media will get all over it. You know how those scumbags work. They'll keep digging and eventually find out she's a hybrid."

"Which means they won't take our rule seriously anymore. We'll be mere celebrities."

88

An elderly woman walked up to a small odd looking man. In truth it was Gir in a makeshift human disguise and a microphone on his head. "Well here's the keys. Good thing you did all the work online. I'm afraid I didn't bring the papers."

"Don't worry mam." said Computer.

"Can we get tacos now?" whined Gir

"What?" asked the woman.

"Nothing. Thanks for the key." Computer said quickly.

Gir waved as the woman hobbled away. His eyes turned red. "All clear master."

Zim jumped from a tree and slithered next to the house.

"Excellent. Do you have the ship in infi-space.?"

Gir nodded.

"Excellent. Computer prepare to merge with this building." said Zim as he entered. He walked into the hallway of the two-story home. Eventually he found the smallest room in the house.

"This must be where humans dispose of unwanted material. It'll be the perfect spot for my base!" Zim cheered.

"Aw, your base is so tiny." said Gir. "It's cute!"

"No Gir. My base will be under it." Zim sighed. "Now hand me the basemaker(Couldn't think of anything else)."

"Yes sir." Gir stated with red eyes. He ejected a small device from his head.

"Download ready." said Computer.

Zim lowered the device to the ground and it drilled through the floor. All anyone on the surface noticed was a slight tremor. Underground the small device suddenly extended as small wires popped out. It drilled through the soil and rock easily.

Zim watched as lighted wires spread through the walls of the house. "MWAHAHAHAHA!" Zim howled.

"Download complete." Computer stated.

"Yes! Nothing can stop Zim!" the Irken yelled. "Now for a disguise."

"I wanna be a mongoose." said Gir. "No! A squirrel!"

"Silence!" Zim shouted. "I will pick my disguise first."

Computer set up a screen and shoed Zim several disguises.

"Ooh. That one's good." Zim smiled pointing to the first disguise.

"Uh Zim, that's just the base of the disguises." Computer said. "It does nothing but hide your eyes and antennae. It doesn't even have ears."

"Zim has no need for ears!" Zim stated.

"Ugh." Computer sighed. "I'll see what I can do." A pod emerged from the floor and a door opened.

"Today we become the enemy." Zim growled as he stepped in. The pod closed and a sudden light shone through the door.

"OH TH PAIN! THE HORRIBLE PAIN!" Zim screamed inside.

"Calm down I'm not doing anything." Computer moaned.

88

Dib ran home still soaked from his aquatic incident. "DAD!" he yelled entering his home. "Dad I there's an alien! A REAL ALIEN!"

"He's not here." Gaz yelled from the living room.

"Gaz, their here! I found a real alien in the woods!" Dib yelled.

"You're crazy." Gaz sighed.

"He mentioned something about school. He must be planning an attack." Dib sped out.

"Get out my way." Gaz growled. "Your blocking the TV."

"His name must be Zim. That's what that computer called him. Gaz, when you go to school tomorrow make sure you bring some of that defensive gear I gave to you for your birthday." Dib said.

Gaz suddenly stood up and glared at Dib. "Listen freak. If you do anything o embarrass me at school I'll tear that Mohawk off of your scalp and shove it down your throat!" she growled.

88

Spork looked into the vastness of space through the main window of the Vortian Battle Cruiser that was the Resisty's ship. He mumbled some fowl words against the Tallest when he noticed something whip past his field of view.

"What was that?" he asked himself. He pressed an intercom button. "Someone get me the recording!"

Lard Naar m=growled to himself and activated the main viewing screen. He slowed down the recording of whatever flew by.

"A Voot Cruiser." said Spork. "Analyze!"

Soon the computer showed everything it was able to pick up. Inside the ship was what Spork knew was standard Invader equipment only modified. Then the ship detected a life form. A female Irken and a member of the Tallest rank according to it's physical features.

"Perfect." Spork hissed. "Follow her!"

IRKEN FUN FACT: As much as the males hate to admit, female Irkens are often more intelligent than the males. It's not they have more brain capacity or anything like that. The females are more simply more coordinated. Males tend to be more self indulging and use most of their brain power to fight and attract females.

Tak is an excellent example of female intelligence while Zim is a poor example of male intelligence.


	7. First Day of Skool

Near the edge of Knightsville was the crumbling educational facility known as Jackson Knight High School by the tax payers. The students however simply called it Skool. This nickname came around after a storm knocked down most of the letters of the school sign leaving just "s", "K", and "ool". Soon enough even the teachers started calling it that. To most students, the worst of these teachers was Miss Bitters.

The students of Miss Bitters class ran around the room in their daily ritual of fooling around. The room echoed with the latest gossip including the news that a new foreign kid was about to come to school. These noises fell silent when Dib entered.

Dib was carrying two backpacks, one was full of the usual books, the other they could see wires and other things popping out of it. He just stood there staring at his peers hoping to see an unfamiliar face.

Moving his view through the crowd he did not see anyone new, just the same idiotic faces of his classmates. Then he saw Zita. Zita had worn her usual purple and black outfit. Boy she was pretty.

All of the sudden someone shoved Dib and he fell to the floor. His backpack hit the ground, smashing some o the equipment inside.

"Hey!" Dib yelled. "Watch where… your… going."

Dib gazed in horror at the being in front of him. His face was clearly a mask. It was very loose. One could see right through the contacts. He had red eyes. It was him, It was the alien!

88

"That fool." Red hissed to himself looking out over his balcony. "I worked for years planning this rise and his idiocy may ruin it all." He slammed his fist against the railing in anger. "Our grip on power isn't complete yet and with his mistake _**my**_reign may never begin! As soon as he got that drone into his room I knew he had gotten too cocky for his own good. Now, when the time is right, he too must be eliminated." Red scowled then raised an eye ridge. "I should really stop talking to myself."

Suddenly Purple burst in. "Good news Red! I have someone who can help us with our problem."

88

Dib stood there pointing at the alien much to everyone's confusion.

Zita stepped forward in front of the stunned Dib. "Hey there." she waved.

"GREETINGS! I AM ZIM!" Zim shouted right in front of her much to her surprise. She fell backwards into Dib's arms. Din himself wasn't aware of this until he too almost fell when the girl slammed into him.

"I am from Ey-Ur-Op-eh (Europe)." Zim stated.

"No your not!" Dib yelled almost dropping Zita. "Your that alien I saw in the woods!"

"He remembers!" Zim thought in shock. "How could he…? Oh yeah. Gir." Zim made an audible growl then quickly tried to come up with an alibi.

"Oh come one." moaned a kid in class. "Not this again. You always see aliens or Bigfoot and stuff like that."

"Remember when he said he saw a Jersey Devil flying over the zoo?" laughed another.

"Hey it took an antelope!" Dib yelled defending himself.

Zita rolled her eyes and shoved Dib away before going to her desk.

"Listen Dib." said a kid with glasses. "Aliens exist but they would look nothing like him. He is too hominid in shape."

"Yes!" shouted Zim. "Listen to the four eyed human child!"

88

"We need a trained bounty hunter and you get a fry cook?" yelled Red.

Sizzlor made a bow. "I assure you my Tallest that I am capable for the job."

"Plus he already knows about Tak." Purple said. "And he has military training."

Sizzlor nodded "I trained to be an Elite but.."

"But you failed the test." Red growled.

"Please sir. Tak destroyed my business in a fit of rage. I owe it to her to bring her back and give the strictest punishment."

Red began to think.

88

Everyone had sat down when Ms. Bitters slithered in. She was a hag-like old woman. Her skin was extremely pale and her teeth were yellow. She always wore a black dress. She never smiled.

Dib stared at Zim who had taken the seat across the room from him.

"Attention students. In celebration of humanity's overpopulation we have two new students today. I'm sure you've all been acquainted with Zim so I'm not going to waste my life introducing him." She looked around and rolled her ugly eyes. "You can come in now!" she hissed out the door.

A tall purple haired girl happily skipped in. "Hello everybody. My name is Tak. I'm sure we'll all get along swimmingly." For some reason she seemed to be straining herself as she spoke. "My father is the CEO of the local Heckuva Hot Dog Corporation so don't be surprised if you see an aircraft around. That's just a private jet."

IRKEN FUN FACT: An Irken's eye color can tell you a lot about their personality. Red eyed Irkens are usually more aggressive. Pink eyed Irkens are very flirtatious. Purple eyed Irkens are usually intelligent. Tallest Purple seems to be the exception.


	8. Who is Staring at Zim?

"This doesn't make any senesce!" Lard Naar yelled.

"What?" hissed Spork. "What is it?"

"There are two Irkens on this planet." said Lard Naar. "That Tallest female and a small male."

Spork raised an eye ridge. "What is that male's rank?"

"I don't know. He's too small to be of any known rank." Lard Naar stuttered.

"There are many possibilities to what's happening." Spork thought aloud. "Maybe they're double their efforts or maybe those fools are trying to colonize a planet with a breeding pair."

A triangular alien rolled next to Spork. "What do we do now?" he asked.

"Those Tallest fools must have something big planned for this planet. Keep an eye on it and send a probe." ordered Spork.

Lard Naar mumbled some curses and obeyed.

88

"Today class, we are going to learn about one of the better events of history, the black plague." hissed Miss Bitters. "This wonderful disease wiped out a third of Europe's overpopulation years ago."

As she ranted Dib studied Zim's movements.

Zim was not at all interested in what this pitiful human had to say. He needed to come up with a plan to take over this mud ball. He knew a planet's past could have clues of how to beat it. If only this planet had some sort of terrible disease in its past. He could revive it and destroy the natives with it. Then Zim felt as if he was being watched. He knew that Dib-monkey was watching him, but now someone else was. He looked around. That spiky purple haired human that sat behind him, who Zim assumed had some sort of brain wave attack since the Dib-monkey seemed to act dumb around her, was writing away not paying attention to him at all. A smaller curly orange haired kid next to him was drawing a picture. The glasses kid just relaxed. A large bald child was… OH MY IRK HOW COULD HE DO THAT IN PUBLIC! After holding back some vomit, Zim finally saw who was staring at him. That weird dark purple haired child that arrived after him stared at him. She was completely focused on him with a strange smile. What did that mean?

88

(Tak's POV)

"That disguise is horrible." Tak thought. "I should just expose him right now. Nah. Then it won't be as much fun."

She jotted down several notes over the Black Plague. She could use this information for research. Now back to that Zim character. Look at him. So small. So pathetic. So handso… I mean so hideous. Still she mustn't under estimate him. He still has a S.I.R Unit and a working base. Even Mimi wouldn't be enough. She needed an ally.

88

"YeeeeeeeeyOOOOOH!" Sizzlor screamed as his PAK was permanently attached to him. "Why on Irk do I even need a PAK?" he growled. "My fury will be enough to get Tak."

"Oh just to help you." Purple said.

"And to kill you once you get back to Irk." Red whispered.

"What was that?" asked Sizzlor.

"Oh I said once you get her, get back to Irk quickly." Red said quickly.

"And I want her alive!" Purple yelled. "ALIVE! So she can face her punishment."

IRKEN FUN FACT: What attracts female Irkens to male Irkens is not their height but their antennae. The PAK's however have tried to suppress this in favor of height being attractive. Apparently Zim has an impressive set of antennae. Due to Tak's Hybrid DNA, her PAK cannot decide how to suppress the gene that makes antennae attractive.


	9. Zim Learns Something New

(WARNING! Dark tone, death, and gore ahead. Read with caution)

Something breached Earth's atmosphere. A small child peered through his bedroom window to see it.

"Holt cow!" he cheered. "An actual meteorite! Those things are supposed to have diamonds in them!"

"KEEF!" yelled an elderly woman from the floor beneath him. "Stop talking to yourself. Your giving me the creeps."

"Screw you hag!" Keef yelled back. "I'm gonna be rich!" The small red haired teen darted down the stairs and ran outside. He opened up a tool shed where his bike was held. He grabbed a pick axe. He needed it to get to the diamonds. The comet landed near the abandoned nuclear facility.

The facility was closed after some safety issues but no radiation had been detected afterwards.

Keef rode his bike behind one of the old reactors. To hi surprise, there was no meteor. There was a large crater and a few fires, but no rock. Keef bent down to investigate. He saw bizarre marks on the ground. They looked like footprints.

Suddenly, rustling came from the bushes.

Keef screamed and readied his pick axe. "I warn you! I'm like royalty. Attacking me might start a war."

A red beam of light shot from the bushes and went around Keef. It moved upwards then back down. Keef heard the sound of metal clanking together and suddenly, a robot hopped out of the bush. "Nity Kired Vedreb." the robot emitted. It stood still. Being humanoid in shape, it looked friendly enough.

Keef lowered the pick axe. "Can-can you talk?"

The robot shifted it's head a little and its optics flashed. "Native language acquired." stated the robot in a metallic manner.

"My name's Keef." said the teen nervously.

The robot's optics flashed again. "My name's Keef." it repeated in Keef's voice.

"Oh boy!" Keef cheered.

"Oh boy!" the robot repeated.

"This is great!" Keef smiled. "I have my very own alien robot! Oh everybody's going to be so jealous! Hey are you in some sort of civil war? Are there more robots? Oh, can you transform? Can you transform into a yellow camero? Oh boy that would be so co-"

Suddenly the robot grabbed Keef's neck and slammed him to the ground.

"Hey that hurt!" Keef yelled.

"DNA needed." the robot said in it metalic manner. He transformed its arm into a suringe and gained some of Keef's blood. "DNA acquired."

"Good for you." growled Keef. "Now let me go."

"Negative." said the robot. It transformed its arms into a some sort of guna and fired. Keef was pinned down with a net.

"Further information will be needed." said the robot. "Subject will remain hidded."

The robot grabbed Keef and carried him into the facility. "Subject will remain here."

"Hey you can't do that!" shouted Keef. The robot ignored him and tossed him into a room.

The robot ignored Keef's shouting and suddenly shifted its appearance.

"My name's Keef."

(EDIT due to confusion: The robot is supposed to be the probe sent by Spork to investigate Zim. )

(Edited from original to make it less graphic.)

88

Zim had moved on from Miss Bitter's class. He was now in a class called Biology. The Dib-monkey wasn't in this class. Nor was that strange purple haired girl. However there was something much worse. Zim had to sit next to a really scary, shorter purple haired girl. Zim was beginning to hate the color purple.

"Hey class!" cheered a fat, bald man. "Guess what! In celebration of the Homecoming Dance, I've decided to give a choice. One, free period or two, we watch Planet Earth."

"OOOH!" yelled Zim raising his hand. "TEACHER UNIT! TEACHER UNIT! TEACHER UNIT! TEACHER UNIT! TEACHER UNIT! TEACHER UNIT!"

The old man lost his cheery disposition. "WHAT?" he yelled at Zim.

"What is this, Coming of the Home dance of which you speak?" asked Zim.

The rest of the class laughed. "SILENCE!" Zim yelled.

"The Homecoming dance is a worthless mating ritual created by small minded losers." hissed Gaz, the shorter purple haired girl.

"You mean you hold a public event to attract a mate?" asked Zim.

Now the class was rolling out of their chairs.

The teacher as well was holding back intense laughter. "No Zim. It's just a dance."

"Occasionally there is some 'mating'." laughed another student.

"Yeah, like Sarah and Mike last year!" cried another one.

The glasses kid was not laughing. "Listen, Zim was it? The Homecoming dance is just a time when boys and girls get together and dance in celebration of our first home game of football. (I'm not entirely sure if this is true so don't quote me on it.) If you don't want to look like a loser, you need a date." The glasses kid leaned towards Zita. Zita rolled her eyes and pushed him away.

88

Dib desperately looked around the schoolyard when his last class ended.

"Where's the alien?" he shouted out loud. He spun around, nearly hitting another student and saw him.

Zim was sneaking through the flood of students. This was the moment Dib had waited for his whole life. He was finally going to catch an alien. Suddenly someone grabbed his shoulder.

He emitted a high pitched scream and looked behind him. It was the new girl.

"You seem to have taken an interest in him." laughed the girl. "It's okay if you swing that way. I won't judge."

"What?" said Dib.

"HAH!" laughed Tak. "I'm just messing with you. Now listen. This may sound crazy but I think that new kid is an extra-terrestrial and I need your help."

"You think so too!" smiled Dib.

"Yeah. I mean look at him. He must be an alien. A horribly disguised, stupid, ugly alien." said Tak. "Now listen. I have a plan to expose him. It will work out as long as you do exactly what I say."

Dib nodded.

"I need you to figure out where he lives. What are his defenses? Where does he eat? Where does he sleep? Got it?""Got it." said Dib excitedly. "In the meantime, I'll.. Uh… get close to him."

"Huh?" said Dib questionably.

"What I mean is, pretend to befriend him. … To learn his motives." said Tak quickly.

"You got yourself a deal!" Dib cheered. "Imagine. The Headlines will say Dib Membrane and Tak Find Alien In Classroom! We'll be famous! We'll be- huh? Tak?"

Tak did not hear any of his speech. She walked up to Zim, clenching her fist and grinding her teeth. She took an inhale to calm down.

"Hey there!" she smiled to Zim. Zim screamed, fell to the ground, and covered himself.

"I come in peace!" Zim screamed. He cowered on the ground for a while longer and opened one of his eyes.

"You done?" asked Tak angrily.

"Uh, yes." said Zim. "That is a typical greeting in Europe, where I am from."

Tak rolled her eyes. Suddenly Zim got up. His face was just inches from hers. For some reason, she blushed and it showed through her disguise. Confused, she backed up.

She cleared her throat. "Uuh. Okay listen. You and I are both new here so I think we should stick together. We can help each other out. You know, be friends."

Zim thought for a moment. His mind began to wonder from the subject and began looking around. Suddenly he saw Tak who was standing under a light. Zim was surprised. He found the human girl before him, pretty? Impossible.

"I will deliver my response tomorrow." said Zim quickly before running away.

88

Zim ran to his base, not knowing that Dib was close behind him. Zim ran to his door quickly opened it.

"Hello son." said Computer through holographic parents.

"There is not time for this!" Zim growled as he shut the door.

"Oh come on." whined Computer. "I worked all day on them. The female is based on an actual female named Megan Fox. There was lots of pictures of her on this marvelous thing called the internet. The male is based on someone who I'm going to assume is some sort of supernatural being called Chuck Norris. This guy's tough. Did you know every time this planet rotates, it's because he wants to sleep? Of course he doesn't actually sleep. He waits."

"ENOUGH!" shouted Zim. He looked around. "Where is Gir?"

"Oh." said Computer. "Well, he learned about this restraint that served tacos. He ordered a ton of them. It's not pretty."

In the kitchen, Gir was dancing around in a pile of mashed up taco shells, meat, cheese, and condiments. He shoveled the mush in his mouth and laughed before flopping down and rolling in it.

"Computer, this is urgent!" growled Zim. "I must know what these things called dates are."

Computer showed Zim a screens with many pictures.

"Dates: A meeting of two sentient organisms where each judges the other to indicate whether or not he or she is worthy of a romantic relationship."

"Humans are weird." said Zim. "Anyway, apparently I need one of these 'dates' to blend in. Show me a list of the humans in my class so I may choose one to fool."

"Well if you want the least amount of attention then you must go with a female." said Computer as he showed Zim a list of females in his class.

"Name: Zita. Social Status: Popular. Asking her will just give you more attention." said Computer.

"Agreed. Next!" shouted Zim.

"Name: Gaz Membrane. Social Status: Outcast."

"AAH!" screamed Zim. "NO! Of all the filthy humans, she is the scariest!"

Computer sighed. "Okay. Name: Tak. Social Status: Unknown."

Zim scratched his chin in thought. The Tak girl did approach him earlier.

"Her." said Zim. "Yes. She'll be perfect. It is with her that I shall blend in."

Dib was across the street in a bush, looking through binoculars.

"What are you looking at?" asked a red headed kid.

Dib almost screamed again but calmed down.

"Oh, it's just you Keef." said Dib.

"That is correct." Keef smiled.

"I'm looking at that new kid." said Dib. "I think he's an alien."

Keef looked at the house with a bland look. "Interesting."

"Yeah, I know right." said Dib. "Hey could you.."

Keef had disappeared.

IRKEN FUN FACT: The second tallest rank of the Irken race is the Brute class. Althugh they are taller than most, Brutes are not respected in society. Mostly because they are as dumb as rocks. Sizzlor is a member of the Brute Rank. Though he is smarter than the average Brute, he is pretty dull.


End file.
